Remember the evening that we walked on the lake and it was so great.
We looked out across the water and imagined that maybe someday we could get a boat of our own. Also, if you get the job in the city that we could get a boat big enough to sleep on. We walked around the bend and saw the deer eating her supper , the dusky sky made it hard to see , but we saw her and she saw us. None of us were alarmed and just watched each other for minutes. We walked along, and I picked up shells along the shoreline. They are not “real” shells, like from your home, just measly lake shells, petite, chalky from the sun, and every day mussels. Regardless, you carried them in your pocket for me. You held my hand, and we walked until it was too dark to see the trail. We came back to the lodge, and imagined that some day, we could rent a balcony room, look at the lake anytime we wanted from there, drink coffee on the balcony in the morning, or drink whiskey from there at night. The moon would shine on us, we would feel like a million dollars! We walked to the side road, caught the shuttle bus, and rode back to the small motel room, with the outside doors, painted lime green, and our ‘89 Cutless in the parking lot. It’s fun to dream.
Author: doeisme
Been a long time…
It’s been a long time
Since I cried myself to sleep
It’s been a long time
Since I felt I was in too deep
It’s been a long time
Since I whispered your name
It’s been a long time
Since I felt completely sane
It’s been a long time
Since I felt anything but numb
It’s been a long time
Since I , yeah,
I’m still just trying to breathe…
I can’t…
I can’t write
My mind feels numb
Listening to lyrics
Falls on deaf ears
I feel depressed
Saying that, makes me feel dumb
Walls are up
All around me thick
Don’t want to share any part of me
Just sit, let time tick
Maybe this will pass
Maybe it won’t
I wish I could care
Right now, I don’t….
Empath, feeling every little thing
I guess took its toll on this being.
My thoughts
3am thoughts
Spoken then lost
Pieces of me
Given so free
To be dismissed
No acknowledges
As if a ghost had sent
Sent those sentiments full of fire
It’s ok, just know this
Flames can flicker in another’s soul
Where my 3am thoughts will not lie cold.
3am
I will no longer share my 3 am thoughts
You feel smothered, so I will not…
They are my innermost feelings and views
They are intended for you, my love my muse
I can just as easy blog them out
They are just words to throw about
You tell me we talk every hour, it’s too much
I know we don’t, but to you it seems such
So I’ll move my thoughts onto something new
But my heart and soul still love you..
Take me
Take me as I am
Take me for what I am
If I’m not your cup of tea
Don’t spew me out
Politely say- no Thank you
You can do that on a first impression
Makes no difference to me
I’ve been there, done that, been around the block, done it again
Just know, I’m not critical
People have bad days
…..really bad days
Judge not, lest you be judged
I pray, it’s not one of your bad days.
Peace and love to all — friend, enemy, acquaintances with unknown futures
❤️
Sensitive (the being)
If there is something I could change about me…I wish I was not so sensitive. The years of tears I have shed over my lifetime, I just could not imagine how many. Why can’t I be like… 2 tears in a bucket..m(expletive!!)??
Oh it makes me better at my profession, healthcare. It makes me a good friend, because I’m so empathetic. It makes me aware of worldly wrongdoings in every way, instead of just turning a blind eye. But at my age now and going through Valentine’s Day, again with disappointment, tears etc. I’m just tired of the sensitive nature that is me. It is tiring. I feel like if I wasn’t like this, and more cold hearted, I would be more productive. Maybe I wouldn’t be lent to depression and overwhelming anxiety at times, that makes me feel paralyzed and not wanting to move. You don’t get stuff done, when you don’t move. I can’t help the way I’m wired. I love posts like…”calmness is my super power”, and “not everything deserves a reaction”. I try to beat these thoughts into my head, I try to hold back tears, but they are relentless. I am blessed in so many ways, but I just wish I was not given this character flaw.
Your mistress
Today
I was the mistress
I’ve never felt like it
But today the casual nature of your words to me
They let me know
I’m generally first in your book
But someone else has the reins on your heart
She’s had them for years and even though she’s not physically there day to day
She still reigns in your mind…
I’m the love you were looking for all this time
But the shadows of her overtake me
Just the mistress
I cannot win
This love, even a love of a lifetime
Cannot
Overcome
I don’t need you..
I don’t need you
I don’t need you either
These tears I cry alone
They cut and carve me
To bitter flesh and bone
You don’t listen or comfort
Because I’m strong you say
You and I both know, I’m going to make it
Day after day
But still this heart would like to have
A soft place to fall
To cry, let go of it all
So don’t ask me how I am
Because tomorrow I will be
Tough, cold hearted, and
A stronger version of me…
Vamp
When darkness and loneliness set up camp
A lady’s mind can turn her into a vamp
Ignore me, use me? Oh I’ll show you
My sultry, sensuous you’ve never viewed
From lips to hips, the words and curves
I’ll use like a knife, cutting bitterness to serve
The slight smile you see, and batting of the eyes
Will both build you up, then cut you down to size
I’ve never been a typical woman scorned
But oh baby tonight, she was born!
…..there you have it, you’ve been warned..
Poetry by SC 